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Well that is a good way to start the second installment, cant seem to enter a title, getting some form of ancient script instead of Round 2, anyway just another frustrating experience on this the second day of the work week.

To start the day off my 2003 Dodge Caravan was being difficult, just like me didn't want to get going at 6am on a cold winter morning, bucking and missing all the way to work, fired up the first cigarette of the day and went to flick the ash, oh yes window was frozen, had to turn the old girl into the world's largest mechanized ash tray. Always an eciting feature when you are looking at putting it up for sale. Very attractive Butane Blue, dented bumper and severley damaged interior which is a story for another day.

Anyway a typical day in the office, conversing with coworkers, some hell bent on playing the sandbox blame game, you know, when the boss asks who's responsible, everyone points in a different direction, and we're talking grown folks.

Nothing worse than when someone tries to pin you with their mistake, that is when you wish you were Adam Sandler in Click, hit the pause button, unleash some Chuck Norris whoop ass, and then hit play.

Tiger Woods in the news again, poor bugger, is anyone surprised that the world number one golfer has had "transgressions". The world's number one anything would have followers, you would probably hear tales of indiscretion from the World's Number One hotdog eating champion.

Tiger is worth millions, and I'm not afraid to say he is an attractive guy, add superstardom to the mix and what does anyone expect. Show me one celebrity that hasn't strayed from their significant other and I'll show you ten who have. The porn star, well that looks a little bad, but really it should be worked into the pre nup, I am a star and I will do what I want, come along for the ride and live in luxury. Maybe moments that can be degrading, but is it any worse than working ten hours a week, driving a broke down van, and rolling quarters for fuel as the price of gas seems to be set at an eenie meenie miney moe rate.

I'd marry a celebrity, let the cheating begin, just give me a maybach, a couple of mansions, and an allowance and I'd be living the dream.

The notion of an exclusive relationship in this day an age is becoming more and more rare, its like a spotting of bigfoot to see a happy couple that is truthful to each other.

Ahh the celebrities do pay a price for what they have, Mike Tyson in the news again for going a round with the paparazzi, have you seen these guys, they swarm like a lion pride chasing down an injured gazelle, tell me you wouldn't lose patience when you have forty cameras clicking when you go to the store for milk.

The last story I will share before getting back to the daily grind is one that was in the paper last week, but I don't recall the country. I am thinking Kenya, but I could be wrong. Apparently, there are groups of individuals that are literally hunting down overweight people, killing them and selling their fat to Plastic Surgery outfits for use in certain procedures. I'm sorry, this is 2009, are you kidding me, might make you think twice before driving in a triple burger and washing it down with a glass of gravy, you wouldn't need runners world magazine, they must have the fastest population pound for pound in the world. I know I would be in trouble, the milk bags and the muffin tops would provide enough fat for a few weeks worth of procedures that is for sure. Slimfast, ridiculous, but it would be liquid diets all around for the fat guy, geting the snickers at the beach is one thing, but you want to carve me up like xmas turkey, I now have serious reason to put the Twinkies down. Take Care...

J